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Melvin's blog
Nshima & Curry
Melvin's Blog
Nshima & Curry
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KEEPING ABREAST OF THE SUPER BOWL
In case you missed the Super Bowl, the greatest sporting
event in America, let me summarize what happened: The New
England Patriots were leading the Carolina Panthers 14-10 at
halftime, then Janet Jackson exposed her right breast. After
that, everything's a blur to me. Did they play the rest of
the football game? I'm not sure. Like millions of men, I was
in a daze, wondering if I had actually seen what I thought I
had seen and would I be charged for it.
Then I became angry, asking myself how a woman could expose
herself like that, in the middle of a football game, without
a single television producer having the good sense to show
us an instant replay. I wanted all five angles: front,
reverse, side, overhead, and behind the goalposts. We have
the technology -- let's use it!
It didn't help that I was watching the Super Bowl at a
friend's house and couldn't take a cold shower, not until
my friend got out of the bathroom.
Friend: "So what did you think of the first half?"
Me: "The first half was great. Just outstanding. Do you
think she'll show us the second half?"
Friend: "I doubt it. You may not believe it, but she's got
standards, you know. So you loved her performance?"
Me: "Well, don't get me wrong, it wasn't perfect. But I'd
say it was half-decent."
As expected, Jackson's two-second flash sparked mixed
reactions around America. Michael Powell, chairman of the
Federal Communications Commission, called it a "classless,
crass and deplorable stunt," to which Jackson blushed and
said, "That's the biggest compliment I've ever received."
Many parents were angry that their children were exposed to
R-rated entertainment. Apparently they missed the lyrics of
the song, as well as the TV promos in which Jackson let
everything but her implants hang out.
Some children were no doubt puzzled by what they saw.
Eight-year-old girl: "Daddy, what did that singer just show
us?"
Father: "Uh ... well, she showed us her loose morals,
sweetheart."
Girl: "Daddy, when I grow up, will I have a pair of morals,
too?"
Other children were excited about their discoveries.
Twelve-year-old boy: "Mommy, mommy! I just figured out
something while watching the Super Bowl!"
Mother: "What did you figure out? How Daddy manages to drink
so much beer?"
Boy: "No, Mom, why they call it a boob tube."
Mother (concerned): "Are you talking about Janet Jackson?"
Boy: "Yes, Mom, she's such a boob. Doesn't she realize she's
a singer, not a stripper?"
As any parent will tell you, television has changed
dramatically in the last decade, exposing viewers to not
just violence and crude language, but enough sexual
situations to make Bill Clinton blush.
Most shows are just not suitable for young children -- and
you can add the Super Bowl to that list, especially if one
of the Jacksons is trying desperately to revive his or her
career.
Luckily, my daughter didn't pay any attention to Janet
Jackson's performance -- but my wife apparently saw
everything.
Wife: "Oh my God. Looks like something's hanging out."
Me: "Sorry, sweetie, sometimes my tongue does that. I'll put
it back in now."
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