Melvin's blog

Nshima & Curry

Melvin's  Blog

Nshima & Curry

PUTTING THE DIVERSITY BACK IN AFRICA

One of my pet peeves, living in America, is the overuse of
the word "Africa." Don't get me wrong. I have nothing
against the continent. After all, I grew up in Zambia, which
promotes itself as the "real Africa." (Trust me, it's more
beautiful than that fake stuff up North.)

What bothers me is when people use the word "Africa" as
though it's a single country, as though all 55 nations have
come together to form the United States of Africa. (That
would be quite a miracle, especially since you can't even
get parts of Rwanda to come together.)

It doesn't help that President Bush once made a reference to
the "nation of Africa." That was a slip of the tongue, of
course. He meant to say "Republic of Africa."

Unfortunately, many Americans know even less about Africa
than the president -- and some of them call themselves
African-Americans. Ask them to name some African countries
and they'll come up with perhaps five or six, then give you
a look of astonishment when you tell them that Timbuktu
doesn't count.

They know Egypt: it's the home of pyramids and mummies. They
know South Africa: it's the home of Nelson Mandela and
Charlize Theron. And they know Libya: it's the home of those
three longtime dictators: Gadhafi, Kadhafi and Qadhafi.

Africa is such a diverse continent, but few of its nations
make the news in America, even if they've done something
commendable, such as elected a new leader, made progress in
the fight against AIDS, or sent an athlete to the Winter
Olympics. Africa gets barely a mention on ABC's "World News
Tonight," which may soon be renamed "American and Israeli
News Tonight."

That explains why I keep having conversations like this:

Politician: "You want to talk about Africa? Great! I love
Africa. My wife grew up there."

Me: "Really? Which country?"

Politician: "Uh ... I'm not sure. I think it's one of
those 'Z' countries. Zimbabia? Zambibwe?"

Me: "Do you mean Zambia? Or Zimbabwe?"

Politician: "I'm not sure. Zambia sounds familiar. It
definitely has a 'zam' in it."

Me: "Could it be Mozambique?"

Politician: "Yes, that's it! Mozambique! Boy, I'd better
write that down -- it might impress the voters."

Me: "It certainly impresses me, Senator Kerry! Remember: You
want to beat Bush, not beat around it."

To help everyone learn a little more about Africa, I've
developed a short quiz:

---Which of these is NOT an African country? (a) Guinea; (b)
Guinea-Bissau; (c) Equatorial Guinea; or (d) Guinea-Pig

---What is the chief product of Nigeria? (a) Oil; (b) Gold;
(c) Coal; or (d) Spam.

---If you can find Ken in Kenya, Wanda in Rwanda, and Dan in
Sudan, where can you find Chad? (a) Chadzania; (b)
Equatorial Chad; (c) Northern Africa; or (d) Florida.

---Who is the leader of Zimbabwe? (a) Kofi Annan; (b) Robert
Mugabe; (c) Shaka Zulu; or (d) Al Sharpton.

---How did Ivory Coast get its name? (a) It produces the
popular "Ivory" and "Coast" brands of soap; (b) Elephant
tusks were exported from there; (c) Most of the world's
piano keys are made there; or (d) It was named after
renowned actor Keenan Ivory Wayans.

---What happened to the $15 billion President Bush pledged
to fight AIDS in Africa? (a) The White House dog ate it; (b)
David Blaine made it disappear; (c) U.S. troops are
searching for it in Iraq; or (d) The Bushmen have it.

                                             Don't forget to visit Melvin's funny blog!