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Nshima & Curry

 

 

Melvin's  Blog

Nshima & Curry

 


'A' IS FOR 'ARREST,' 'B' IS FOR 'BAIL'

The bookstore has dozens of books that teach children the
alphabet. Some do it through popular characters such as
Big Bird and Elmo, others by showing everyday life: 'F' is
always for 'Firefighter,' 'K' is for 'Kite,' and 'O' is for
'Outsourcing.' Then there's one that's rather popular in
the big city, written by a mother to help her children
understand their father's drug and alcohol problems:

A is for 'Arrest.' It's what the police do when they take
Daddy away; he gets to ride in a cool car and doesn't have
to pay.

B is for 'Bail.' It's the money we pay to get Daddy out of
jail; it's the reason the pawn shop has Mommy's ring for
sale.

C is for 'Crime.' It's what Daddy does to pay for food,
toilet paper and soap; he'd get a regular job if he wasn't
such a dope.

D is for 'Drugs.' Daddy isn't a pharmacist, but he's sold
many drugs; he isn't a model, but he's posed for many mugs.

E is for 'Escape.' That's what Daddy's always trying to do;
breaking out of prison or smoking a joint or two.

F is for 'Fool.' Applying for work, Daddy listed his
previous job as 'felon'; those drugs have turned his brain
into a watermelon.

G is for 'Government." Daddy blames them for all his woes,
not all that stuff he puts up his nose.

H is for 'Hunk.' When Mommy married Daddy, he was such a
hunk; then he took drugs and everything shrunk.

I is for 'Inadequate.' It's what Daddy feels when they lock
him up; his cellmate expects him to wear a D-cup.

J is for 'Judgment.' It's how Daddy's time in prison is
often spent, trying to figure out what the judge meant.

K is for 'Kilogram.' That's how much cocaine Daddy hid in
his pants; he looked like a stud, but only at first glance.

L is for 'Love.' It's the reason Mommy stays with Daddy
through thick and thin; the reason Daddy's always kissing
his bottle of gin.

M is for 'Marriage.' It's a word Daddy sometimes mixes up
with 'Marijuana'; he tried to buy it on our honeymoon in
Tijuana.

N is for 'Nearsighted.' Daddy's always nearsighted, seeking
short-term gain; if he thought about our future, he'd
short-circuit his brain.

O is for 'Orange.' It's what Daddy wears when he's on the
prison crew, the only time in life he's brighter than you.

P is for 'Probation.' It's what Daddy got when he committed
his first crime, a good opportunity to do it another time.

Q is for 'Quarter.' Daddy tried to sell some crack to a Fed;
that's because he used only a quarter of his head.

R is for 'Remorse.' It's what Daddy's expected to show
during his trial; when the charges are listed, Mommy wishes
he wouldn't smile.

S is for 'Swearing.' It's those four-letter words Daddy
likes to use, especially on those nights when he runs out of
booze.

T is for 'Testimony.' It's what those people say about Daddy
in court; it's like getting an 'F' on a school report.

U is for 'Underachiever.' Daddy hasn't achieved much in his
life so far, unless you count those drinking contests at the
bar.

V is for 'Visitation.' It's the quality time you spend with
Daddy in jail, when he tells you his dinner tastes like
uncooked snail.

W is for 'Withdrawal.' It's what Daddy goes through when he
hasn't had drugs in a day; he withdraws to the shed and
tries to smoke some hay.

X is for 'X-ray.' Once, at the airport, they put Daddy
through the x-ray; you'd be amazed what they found under his
toupee.

Y is for 'Year.' Daddy had a job for a year in the slammer;
he made license plates for the state of Alabama.

Z is for 'Zero.' That's the amount of joy Daddy's drugs have
brought; if he were a trash man, we'd be smiling a lot.

                                                        

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