Melvin's blog

Nshima & Curry

Melvin's  Blog

Nshima & Curry

WHERE ARE ALL THE ASIAN ATHLETES?

If you’re a longtime reader of my column, you
probably know that I’m not a big fan of golf,
though I’ve come to realize, after years of
research, that some people consider it a
sport. As far as legitimate sports are
concerned, I rank golf somewhere between
shuffleboard and tiddlywinks. Though
tiddlywinks does require a lot more
endurance.

But despite my low and perhaps misguided
opinion of golf, I couldn’t help getting excited
Sunday when Vijay Singh won The
Masters, the greatest championship in golf.
It’s not every day that I get to see an Asian
winning a major sports event. Asians have
enough trouble winning events at the Asian
Games. In fact, at the last Asian Games, the
top medal-winners were Germans. They
disguised themselves as Chinese. The
tip-off came when the track-and-field events
were dominated by a guy named Dirk Chang.

I’m not trying to bash Asians. After all, I’m an
Asian myself and the only event I’ve ever
won was in 1978. But hopscotch doesn’t
count.

Still, you can’t blame me for wanting to see
more Asians excel in sports, especially
sports that are popular in America. I know
that Asians are major forces in cricket, field
hockey, ping pong and badminton, but those
sports get as much television coverage in
America as bingo. I’m still waiting for some
rich American to start the PBL (Professional
Badminton League). Surely, badminton
would be more popular than several other
events televised on ESPN, including
barrel-throwing, log-chopping and
nose-picking.

Just once in my life, I’d like to see an Asian
winning a Wimbledon singles title,
quarterbacking the Super Bowl champion,
or biting Evander Holyfield’s ear. I’d be so
proud.

I’m not trying to diminish the achievements
of some exceptional Asians. I know that
Michael Chang has won the French Open,
Hideo Nomo has pitched in the major
leagues, and a couple of Indians have come
darn close to winning the National Spelling
Bee. But what about the other three billion
Asians? What are they doing? Playing
chess?

You’ll forgive me, then, if I suddenly become
a big fan of golf. Not only has Vijay Singh
won two major championships, so has Tiger
Woods. And Woods, as I like to remind
people, is half-Asian. He’s such a dominant
golfer, I’d be bragging about him even if his
caddie were half-Asian.

Singh, a Fiji Islands-native of Indian descent,
sank a long putt on the final hole of The
Masters, then casually raised his club in
triumph, barely cracking a smile. He
obviously needs a lot more practice in
celebrating. I’ve done more celebrating after
winning a round of miniature golf. Didn’t
Singh realize that he had just won enough
money to buy the Fiji Islands? Or at least
pay to have them renamed the Vijay Islands.
He needs to watch professional football
players, who spend as much time celebrating
as they do committing crimes.

I watched The Masters with a couple of
Indian friends who don’t normally watch golf,
but, like me, were fascinated to see an
Asian winning a major sports event. They
kept rubbing their eyes and asking me, "Are
you sure he’s an Asian?"

Actually, his name was a dead giveaway. It’s
as Indian as spicy, scream-for-your-mama
curry. (Vijay means "victory" in Hindi.)

Even my mother, who doesn’t know golf from
croquet, was captivated by Singh’s win. Later,
she asked me why I can’t play golf as well
as Singh. After all, we have similar ethnic
backgrounds, similar physiques and similar
nerdy glasses. It’s too bad, she thought, we
don’t have similar bank accounts.

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