Melvin's blog

Nshima & Curry

Melvin's  Blog

Nshima & Curry

GOING CRAZY WITH THE BABY

I used to move freely around my home, but that was before
the baby arrived, that was in the year 2001 B.C. (before
chaos). Nowadays we have barriers all over the place, mostly
to keep 10-month-old Lekha from doing whatever she wants,
such as walking up to the trash can and giving it a big,
sloppy kiss. A kiss that says, "It's so good to finally meet
someone my height. And you smell so nice, too, much better
than that white guy in the bathroom. I'm never kissing HIM
again."

Yes, babies do strange things, but how can you blame them?
Their minds aren't fully developed and they're still trying
to determine which objects around the house are living,
breathing creatures and which ones are their dads. "Let's
see ... The four-legged wooden thing moves when I push it,
which is more than I can say about the big lump on the
couch."

Lekha (pronounced Lay-kah), I'm proud to say, is a very
friendly baby, even with strangers. Just the other day, she
gave a big hug -- without any prompting from me -- to our
new vacuum cleaner. "It's nice to meet you, Mr. Hoover. Your
music is a little loud, but I like it. I don't know why the
salesman told Dad that you really suck."

Babies are so inquisitive and my daughter is no different.
We've bought her several educational toys, including
building blocks, and she spends hours every day trying to
figure out if any of them can be eaten. But thankfully she
does find a little time to play, as soon as we give her some
food. "Look Mom, the sweet potato looks pretty around my
neck. Is this what they mean by the food chain?"

Eager to stimulate Lekha's mind, we've bought her dozens of
children's books. We thought she'd enjoy the books, but
she's exceeded our expectations: she devours them. Yes, she
really gets into them, not just with her fingers and eyes,
but all five teeth. "Thanks for the book, Mom. I really like
feeding time, but when are we going to have reading time?"

Like other parents, we're eager to discover our baby's
talents. If she has a talent in music, for example, we want
to get her started early, so that by the time she goes to
college, she'll be sick of it and ready to study medicine.

So far, I've discovered only one talent: Lekha is really
good at creating a mess. Which means, of course, that she's
destined to have a long and successful career in Congress.

She makes a mess in her high chair, a mess in her playpen, a
mess in her diaper. But that's not all: She loves to toss
our CDs and cassettes onto the floor. I'm beginning to
wonder if our taste in music offends her. "Sorry Mr.
Jackson, but you don't sound half as good as Mr. Hoover.
Perhaps you need a new job. No, no, no -- not a nose job."

Cleaning the mess can be tiring, but I really wouldn't mind
it, if only I could get a good night's sleep. My wife, the
doting mother that she is, can't stand to hear Lekha crying
in her crib, so she lets the baby sleep in our bed,
sometimes in the middle. There's still a lot of crying, but
at least mother and baby sleep right through it.

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