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Nshima & Curry
Nshima & Curry
WELCOME TO THE HAIR CLUB FOR MEN
When a young man looks in the mirror, a single question
tends to dominate his thoughts, a question that requires no
answer: "Am I a handsome guy or what?"
But there comes a time in every man's life when that
question is replaced, at least temporarily, by a more
critical and potentially life-changing question: "Am I going
Some men are lucky and can be totally honest with
themselves: "No, I'm not going bald. I'm just combing my
hair in the wrong direction." This type of reasoning is
known, among psychologists and other experts, as a bald lie.
Other men are not so lucky. They can't avoid the truth: "Oh
no. Looks like my hair has fallen out. I must not have used
A few men, of course, are blessed with extremely durable
hair, the type of hair that can withstand not just the
normal aging process and extreme weather, but also various
cycles of the washing machine.
Sports announcer Marv Albert, for example, has fabulous
hair, the type of hair you can't buy just anywhere. Millions
of years from now, if archeologists dig up his remains, they
would have, without a doubt, a hair-raising experience.
Journalist: "What was it like, finding the remains of 'Homo
Archeologist: "It was a very lucky moment for me. Not only
was his hair still in good condition, but the best part of
all: it was my size! Thanks to that discovery alone,
'People' magazine gave me an unexpected honor: Sexiest
Baldness is indeed a major problem for men. Just ask my
wife, who has watched me evolve, in three years of marriage,
from a man with a tiny bald spot to one who's beginning to
reflect light. "When I married you," she said to me the
other day, "I never knew you would be so bright."
There's a positive side to this, of course: I've never felt
safer jogging at night.
Scientists call it "male pattern baldness." That's because
it leaves a strange pattern on your head. The type of
pattern you wouldn't typically get, not without visiting
a drunk barber.
Experts say it's normal for a man or woman to lose up to 125
hairs a day. When you start losing 126, it's time to worry.
Even your cat will snicker.
Truth is, I still have the same number of hairs I had as a
youngster. It's just that many of them, unable to stand the
cold weather, have taken shelter in my ears and nose. I've
tried to evict them, but like annoying relatives, they keep
Most forms of baldness can be explained through genetics.
Some men inherited good hair genes from their fathers and
grandfathers, while other men didn't even inherit good
toupees. Their hairline just keeps going back, back, back.
This is known, of course, as a recessive trait.
No matter how bald I get, I refuse to wear a toupee or other
type of carpeting. I refuse to use Rogaine or even
Miracle-Gro. And I refuse to spray black string on my head.
I'm going to be bald and proud!
Especially if the comb-over doesn't work.
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