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Nshima & Curry

Melvin's  Blog

Nshima & Curry

INDIA OVERFLOWS INTO THE WORLD

It is known as the Indian diaspora, the scattering of
Indians around the world. We've settled in almost every
country that offers the basic necessities: food, water, and
coconut oil. In fact, the only reason Indians are not in the
history books as the world's greatest explorers is our habit
of arriving late.

Italy's Christopher Columbus may have discovered America,
but that's only because India's Ali Akbar took too long
loading his ship. "Beedis. We need more beedis," he told the
first mate. "They will sell like hot cakes in the West."

Captain James Hook owes his fame not only to his Pacific
Ocean voyages, but also to the wife of Indian explorer
Rajendran Kumar, who didn't want her husband to leave
without getting good directions.

And if another Indian explorer had not been late going to
Africa, the immortal words of Henry Stanley might have been,
"Dr. Lakshmanan, I presume."

But tardy or not, at least many Indians have shown the
courage to venture forth, leaving the known for the unknown.
And like the early explorers, they've battled a host of
problems, including strange diseases, severe weather, and
airline food.

Their resilience and resourcefulness are evident all over
the world. Go to Paris and you'll see Patel Brothers Perfume
Shop. Go to London and you'll see Patel Brothers Fish 'n'
Chips Restaurant. Go to New York and you'll see Patel
Brothers Tattoo Parlor.

Even if you travel to the heart of the Amazon Rainforest,
you will find a group of Indians there, probably selling
flood insurance to the natives.

Back in the '60s, my parents migrated to Zambia, Central
Africa, and discovered, happily, that thousands of Indians
were already there. The mineral-rich country had attracted
not just business people, but also doctors, engineers,
teachers and other skilled workers. Most were expatriates
and their favorite word, by far, was "remittance."

While such Indians have taken advantage of opportunities
outside their motherland, dozens of countries have taken
advantage of them. Indeed, if India were a business, it
would be the world's most successful employment agency.

Manager: "Hello. Thank you for calling Indian Manpower
Unlimited. May I help you?"

Caller: "Yes, I'm calling from Zimbabwe. We need to hire
some doctors and nurses."

Manager: "No problem. How many do you need? We can send you
ten million tomorrow."

Caller: "Only 800 of each please."

Manager: "Only 800? Please take 1,000. We will give you a
discount and throw in some politicians for free."

Caller: "Please keep the politicians. We have enough
problems as it is."

Despite the needs of many countries, Indians aren't always
welcome. Who can forget Idi Amin's expelling of Ugandan
Asians in 1972? Though about 57,000 were British passport
holders, Britain tried to find homes for them elsewhere. But
other countries weren't too receptive.

British Honduras: "We'll take 25. As long as they have
money."

Falkland Islands: "We'll take 50. As long as they have
medical degrees."

Ethiopia: "We'll take 100. As long as they have food."

Thankfully, such problems have not kept the Indian diaspora
from growing. As that great explorer Ali Akbar once said,
"Indians are everywhere. If we're smart, we can sell
lots of beedis."

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