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Melvin's blog
Nshima & Curry
Melvin's Blog
Nshima & Curry
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MALE MODELS SET HIGH STANDARDS FOR ALL MEN
I usually try to avoid writing about violence or
bloodshed. But every now and then, I hear
about an incident that's so terrible, it would
be wrong, even shameful, of me to ignore it.
That's why I'm compelled to write about that
fateful day in late March when the world was
shocked to hear that a bird, completely
unprovoked, had flown straight into Fabio's
nose.
Actually, to say the world was shocked is a
slight exaggeration. It would be more
accurate to say that many Americans who
heard about the incident were shocked,
concerned and saddened. Oh no, they said,
poor bird.
In case you don't know, Fabio is the male
supermodel whose face and physique have
graced the covers of many a romance novel.
Fabio has a square jaw, pecs of steel, and
long, beautiful hair that many women -- and
some men -- envy.
And as if his looks aren't enough, I've even
heard rumors that Fabio is smart.
So it shouldn't surprise you that Fabio is
loved and admired by thousands of people,
including himself.
The unidentified bird struck Fabio during a
promotional ride for a new roller coaster at
Busch Gardens, a Williamsburg, Va., theme
park.
According to the Associated Press, Fabio
was showing off the Apollo's Chariot coaster
to reporters, during an event promoted as
"Modern-Day 'Adonis' vs. Ancient-Day 'Sun
God.'" Apparently the Sun God was a little
too powerful for the Adonis, summoning the
fury of a bird, perhaps with help from an
immortal being named Alfred Hitchcock.
Fabio was treated at the local hospital for a
one-inch cut on the bridge of his nose. It's
still not clear exactly how many nurses had
to be treated for involuntary swooning.
Some people are calling Fabio's bird
encounter a freak accident. But it has to be
more than just that. If the world is coming to
an end in the year 2000, this is a definite
sign.
The park has operated roller coasters since
1978 and no rider had ever collided with a
bird. Why Fabio and why now, so close to
the millennium?
I prefer to think that the brave bird was
striking a blow for ordinary males like me
who can't live up to the lofty standards Fabio
has set.
He and other male models are contributing
to a disturbing trend: the objectification of
men. It's not enough if you have brains,
personality and a job -- women want the
total package, complete with lush hair on the
head and no hair on the back.
Yes, I know men have treated women like
sex objects for hundreds of years, but why
do women want to switch roles now, in my
lifetime?
After all, two wrongs do not make a right.
Perhaps the bird would have agreed. It's a
pity reporters on the scene didn't get a
chance to interview it.
REPORTER: Why did you fly into Fabio's
nose?
BIRD: I was just flying by and from the corner
of my eye, I spotted this extremely attractive
man. We birds usually find you humans so
ugly -- even Brad Pitt looks like the bottom
of an old nest. But Fabio was so handsome,
my heart just started racing and my wings
felt weak. And before I knew it, I had
crashed into him.
REPORTER: Did he say anything to you?
BIRD: Yes, he said, "Hey, silly bird, look
what you've done. You've messed up all my
makeup."
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