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Nshima & Curry

Melvin's  Blog

Nshima & Curry

FREE AT LAST? NOT SO FAST

An Iraqi journalist, hoping to tell his countrymen about the
benefits of liberation, traveled to America to pose a
question to people in various professions: What does it feel
like to be free?

Cartoonist: "It feels great to be free. I can draw pictures
of President Bush with big ears and a long nose. Nothing is
more rewarding!"

Teacher: "I love being free. Especially in the summer. I can
do lots of traveling, free from those naughty children."

Lawyer: "Free? Where did you get the idea that I'm free? I
charge 200 bucks an hour, mister!"

America is the "land of the free," but being free doesn't
mean the same thing to everyone. So when President Bush says
that America has an "obligation" to help spread freedom
around the world, I wonder what he means. Will the people of
Cuba finally be able to enjoy democracy? Will the people of
Saudi Arabia finally be able to enjoy freedom of worship?
Will the people of China finally be able to enjoy Paris
Hilton's sex video?

My dictionary defines freedom as "the condition of being
free of restraints." But every country has restraints of
some sort. Just ask Howard Stern, whose racy show was
recently dropped by America's largest radio chain, prompting
Howard to spew so many four-letter words, his producers
thought he was rehearsing.

"It is pretty shocking that governmental interference into
our rights and free speech takes place in the U.S.," Howard
said, referring to pressure from Congress and the FCC. "It's
hard to reconcile this with the 'land of the free' and the
'home of the brave.'" Indeed, and it's also hard to believe
that Howard is capable of uttering two whole sentences
without mentioning sex.

Of course, Howard should be thankful he lives in America,
for in some countries he would be publicly flogged. The
punishment would be carried out in a soccer stadium and the
event would be sellout. And if a movie is made, it would be
a blockbuster. Coming soon to a theater near you: "Howard's
End."

Some people believe Americans have too much freedom; others
believe Americans don't have enough. "They do not know what
freedom is," an Indian man declared on a recent PBS
documentary. "Freedom from what? Freedom from ambition?
Freedom from anger? Freedom from vices? From what are they
free?" That's an interesting perspective, but you can ask
such questions in all countries -- Americans don't have a
monopoly on ambition, anger and vices, though some are
trying very hard.

While Howard wants more freedom of speech, other Americans
are lobbying for a slew of freedoms, including the freedom
to have same-sex marriages, freedom to buy prescription
drugs from Canada, freedom to smoke marijuana, and freedom
to ask tough questions at a presidential press conference.

Motorcyclist: "I want the freedom to ride around with no
helmet, as they do in some states. That's what I call real
freedom."

Doctor: "Oh, be sensible. That's not freedom. That's free
dumb!"

Motorcyclist: "Well, it's my head -- I should have the
freedom to decide whether to protect it."

Doctor: "OK, but I hope you're an organ donor. Your freedom
might give someone free kidneys!"

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