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Nshima & Curry

Melvin's  Blog

Nshima & Curry

THE WORLD'S RUNNING OUT OF GENTLEMEN

This year's Academy Awards brought many television viewers
to tears, some because Halle Berry was so emotional and some
because Jennifer Lopez was fully dressed.

But what touched me the most was the tribute to Sidney
Poitier, an actor I've admired for years. The 75-year-old
received an honorary Oscar, a standing ovation, and, even
more impressive, a kiss from Julia Roberts. (Only 974 men
can say that.)

Poitier is not just a great actor, he's also full of class,
the polar opposite of many youngsters, who have no qualms
about skipping class.

Poitier, I believe, is also a gentleman, a true gentleman. I
have no real proof of this, just a hunch. Somehow I can't
imagine Poitier remaining seated on a bus while a female
passenger is standing. I can't even imagine him riding a
bus.

Driver: "Sir, please take a seat at the back of the bus."

Poitier: "All the way back? No, never."

Driver: "Do you find that offensive?"

Poitier: "Yes, of course, I do. The chairman of Enron is
sitting back there."

Poitier is a symbol of chivalry, as rare in today's world as
a blind cabbie. Most males in my generation are not
"gentlemen." They are just "guys." The only time they
pretend to be gentlemen is when the sign on the restroom
says "gentlemen." But that doesn't mean they'll bother to
wash their hands. (Only one out of three men wash their
hands -- whereas all three are eager to shake your hand.)

I have to admit that I'm not always a gentleman myself. I
blame this on society, because society has taught me that
almost any personal shortcoming can be blamed on it. Society
is always messing up my life.

It has shown me, for example, that women are just as
capable as men in performing many tasks. Women have served
successfully as presidents of countries, governors, and
Supreme Court justices. At this rate, it won't be long
before they're allowed to referee football games. (One of
the last bastions of male superiority.)

Women have competed in professional soccer, basketball, even
boxing. They've been mechanics, firefighters, and, believe
it or not, secretaries (Secretary of State, for example).
Given these accomplishments, I'm a little confused why some
women expect me to open doors for them. Wouldn't it make
more sense for them to open doors for ME?

Don't get me wrong. A part of me really wants to open doors
for women or give up my seat for them. Another part of me,
often my butt, doesn't. It tells me that women don't want to
be treated like dainty creatures, that I'd be showing them a
lot more respect if I don't move a muscle. And trust me, I'm
a real fanatic about showing respect.

Truth is, some women want men to be chivalrous, others
don't. But none of them ever bothers holding up a sign. I'm
terrible at reading minds.

That's why it has taken me almost two years to figure out
that I'm expected to open doors for my wife. She doesn't
think I'm courteous enough. Thankfully, other people don't
share her view. Just the other day, a waiter took my wife's
order, then turned to me, asking, "And what would the
gentleman like?"

Gentleman. I like the sound of that.

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