GOSSIP CAN BE HURTFUL, BUT HARD TO STOP

Did you hear the news about Anne Heche? She's the actress
once involved with comedian Ellen DeGeneres. You probably
know about their famous thespian-lesbian relationship. Well,
Heche has returned to men. She has crossed over, joined the
other team, shifted her focus from Venus to Mars. The poor
girl can't seem to make up her mind. It must be tough,
because men and women have different things to offer. For
example, women have nice ...

Wait! That sounds too much like gossip. I shouldn't be
gossiping. This isn't a gossip column. If it were, I'd have
to lower my standards, rely on untruths and half-truths, and
put up with a lot more readers. Who wants that?

Gossip, as you know, can be lots of fun. Without it, most
parties would be as dull as an accountants' convention.
People wouldn't know what to say to each other. They'd have
to create other types of entertainment. "Gather around,
folks. We're going to watch a slideshow of my bird-watching
trip to Cuba. I took more than 100 photos of eagles, falcons
and other birds, all nesting in Fidel Castro's beard."

Gossip is what keeps many guests hanging around a party past
midnight, after the beer has run out. Whenever I'm invited
to a party, I try my best to attend, not just for the
company, but also to keep people from gossiping about me.

Gossip seems harmless, but can hurt people. That's why a new
organization called Words Can Heal is launching an
advertising campaign to reduce not just verbal violence, but
also gossip, which has apparently gotten out of hand in
America. (No other country has so many professional gossips.

Just go to any beauty shop.)

Rabbi Chaim Feld of Aish Hatorah, an international orthodox
Jewish educational organization, thought up the campaign,
perhaps because he's tired of all those "minister, priest
and rabbi" jokes.

The campaign will urge people to pledge to "replace words
that hurt with words that encourage, engage and enrich." For
example, instead of saying something hurtful like "Saddam
Hussein's the biggest idiot I know," people will be expected
to say something encouraging like "Saddam Hussein's the most
talented, most successful idiot I know."

In one of the campaign's print ads, two baseball players
look like they're shouting at each other, but one is saying,
"I disagree totally but I can still see your point of view."
Ha Ha! That's a good one. Before they can persuade baseball

players to speak so nicely to each other, perhaps they should

try to persuade married couples.

The ad makes three major assumptions: (1) Baseball players
know how to speak English; (2) baseball players have the
time and ability to form complete sentences; (3) baseball
players can remember big words such as "disagree" that have
more than four letters.

In another ad, a couple traveling in a car are lost in the
desert, looking at a map, with one saying "Who knew the
desert was so beautiful at this time of year?" Ha Ha! That's

an even better one. If my wife and I were lost in the desert

and I commented on the "beautiful desert," she'd die of shock

and I'd be in bigger trouble.

But I don't want to put down the ad campaign. It's a noble
effort. The world would certainly be a better place without
verbal abuse and gossip.

Middle-aged woman: "I've made a pledge not to gossip
anymore."

Friend: "Me, too. I'll never gossip again. For example, I
refuse to gossip about my co-worker, Anita, who's having
marital problems. I refuse to gossip about her husband's
affair or her meetings with a divorce attorney. I refuse to
gossip about the loud fight they had the other night."

Woman: "Yes, we shouldn't gossip about all that. Is there
anything else you refuse to gossip about?"