Melvin's blog

Nshima & Curry

Melvin's  Blog

Nshima & Curry

INDIAN STORES OFFER LOTS OF ENTERTAINMENT

I love going to Indian grocery stores. Sometimes I go there
for food, other times for entertainment. By "entertainment,"
I'm not referring to the Indian movies available for rent,
though they can be quite entertaining, as long as they're
not so blurry that Karisma Kapoor looks like Anil Kapoor.
(The reverse is just fine.)

By "entertainment," I'm referring to the unique items being
sold, items that can't be purchased anywhere else. For
example, during a recent visit to an Indian store, my wife,
Malathi, and I found the following "exotic" vegetables
listed on a sign: brokli, tommotto and calling flower.

As you can imagine, this store was flourishing, attracting
customers by the busload. After all, where else could they
go to buy calling flower? Certainly not Wal-Mart, which --
despite its size and popularity -- doesn't even carry
tommotto. I checked.

The Indian store has undoubtedly touted its goods in
newspaper ads:

---"When you're not sure whether to call your mother or send
her flowers, try calling flower. It's cheaper than a calling
card!"

---"If you don't like our fresh tommottos, remember this: We
are the best sauce for tommotto source."

---"We always listen to our customers. They told us they
don't like the taste of broccoli -- that's why we introduced
brokli. It's a crucified vegetable and contains plenty of
anti-accidents."

Needless to say, Malathi and I were impressed that the store
carried such rare vegetables. The chicken curry that I made
with tommottos was so delicious, I'm never going back to
tomatoes. And my mother absolutely loves her calling flower.

But even when we don't find unique items at Indian grocery
stores, there's usually such a wide array of goods --
including 2,000 varieties of pickle -- that I can't help
smiling while walking down the aisles. The products include
Mysore Sandal Soap (slogan: "Distilled by the Government of
Karnataka, discarded by the Government of Tamil Nadu"),
Turmeric Skin Cream ("When your skin isn't quite yellow
enough") and Parachute Coconut Oil ("The number one choice
of skydivers everywhere").

My favorite products are Indian sweets, especially the ones
with enough sugar to kill a diabetic. I also enjoy anything
that contains mango, including mango ice cream, mango lassi,
and mango pickle. I can never leave an Indian grocery store
without buying a mango drink. I would prefer to buy mango
juice, but I usually have to settle for mango-flavored water
or, more precisely, citric acid with a hint of mango.

I bought a can of mango pulp that, according to the label,
was "preparied from finest Aphonso mango's." The label
suggested a number of mango dishes that could be made,
including mango pie, barfi and "moose." I wonder if you have
to be non-vegetarian to enjoy the moose.

Since my wife is a big fan of Indian products, our home is
stocked with many such items, including some that
cause a little confusion.

Me: "That Mysore Sandal Soap you bought is great. It removed
all the dirt from my sandals."

Malathi: "You idiot. That soap isn't for sandals. Didn't you
read the package?"

Me: "I did. But for some reason it didn't work too well as a
toilet soap."

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