|
© All columns copyrighted
Columns must not be
reprinted in any form without the author's express permission.
|
|
Melvin's blog
Nshima & Curry
Melvin's Blog
Nshima & Curry
| |
NEW PRESIDENT FACES HAIR-RAISING QUESTIONS
Now that Abdul Kalam, the father of India's missile program,
has been elected president, international observers are
holding their collective breath, wondering if his new job
will force him to do something drastic, such as cutting his
hair.
Kalam's trademark shoulder-length hair has already drawn
objections from a few politicians who voted in the
presidential election. "Cut your hair," one wrote on the
ballot. Another, noting that Kalam was running against
Lakshmi Sahgal, said, "This is very good for feminism in
India. One candidate is a woman and the other looks like
one."
Kalam's detractors are concerned about the image he will
portray to the world. What will other leaders think of a
71-year-old president -- an accomplished, award-winning
scientist -- whose hair looks like it belongs on Britney
Spears? Will they just see him as an eccentric genius like
Albert Einstein? Or will they see him as another Indian
experiment gone terribly wrong?
We may get some answers when President Bush makes his first
state visit to India.
Bush: "Thank you for inviting me, Prime Minister Vajpayee.
It's been such a learning experience. I never realized India
had so many Indians. The streets are full of them. It
reminds me of downtown New York. I do have a final question
for you: Who is that long-haired man that keeps following me
around, asking me questions about our nuclear missiles?"
Vajpayee: "You mean the one wearing a blue suit and matching
flip-flops? That's our president."
Bush: "President? Ha ha. That's a good one. You Indians do
have a fine sense of humor. Now stop pulling my leg and tell
me who he really is."
Vajpayee: "I'm not kidding, Mr. Bush. That's our new
president, Abdul Kalam."
Bush: "Really? Wait till I tell my bodyguards. They thought
he was one of your chauffeurs. I told them that Indian
chauffeurs are never that unkempt."
Vajpayee: "You'll have to excuse President Kalam. He's a
bachelor. He doesn't have a wife to tell him how to dress."
Bush: "But you're a bachelor, too, aren't you? How do you
manage to look so stylish?"
Vajpayee: "Stylish? Ha ha! That's why I nominated Dr. Kalam.
Next to him, everyone looks stylish. Even my deputy, Mr.
Advani, seems debonair. Don't be surprised if the two of us
end up on the cover of GQ magazine!"
Kalam has told reporters that he has a haircut every four
months, but they're more likely to believe that he
moonlights as an exotic dancer.
Barber: "President Kalam, let me tell you what a pleasure it
is to cut your hair. And what beautiful hair you have, sir!
Just like Karisma Kapoor. You should be in the movies,
especially if you can act."
Kalam: "Of course I can act. Why do you think I became a
politician? But please don't get excited about cutting my
hair. I am just pretending to get a haircut to satisfy the
media and those rigid politicians."
Barber: "Don't worry about them, sir. They are just
suffering from hair-envy. It is a common problem -- and not
just among women. All these people wish they could express
their individuality like you do. To be honest, even I wish I
could have long hair, but ..."
Kalam: "Your customers would complain?'
Barber: "No, sir, not my customers. My wife."
Send this column to a friend
| |
|
