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Nshima & Curry
Nshima & Curry
THE MANY WAYS OF EXPRESSING LOVE
If you've been following the news recently, you might think
Indians have something against love. You might think it's
only a matter of time before love is banned in India.
An excited Bal Thackeray would appear on television to say:
"We have seen the terrible influence of love on our young
people and have decided to take action. From now on, love
will not be permitted in India, except in two places:
Bollywood and my house. No more LOVE marriages please, only
LIKE marriages. As for sex, please carry on as usual."
The notion that India, home of the Kamasutra, would
discourage love seems preposterous, but imagine the
impression westerners get when they hear that Indian couples
are sometimes restricted from expressing love.
American tourist: "Hey, why are you all protesting? What's
Protester: "We are members of Shiv Sena. We are upset that
you westerners have brought V.D. to India."
Tourist: "V.D.? Venereal disease?"
Protester: "No, even worse than that: Valentine's Day. It
will be the ruination of our country. That's what Shri
Thackeray says -- and we believe him."
Tourist: "But what's the harm in showing a little love?"
Protester: "It may seem harmless to you, but we've seen the
damage it has done to America. Remember: Monica Lewinsky
just wanted to show a little love, too. Americans are buying
cards and flowers not just for their spouses, but also their
girlfriends, boyfriends, grandparents, children, and pets.
Even on the Internet, they are getting carried away with
Tourist: "V.D.? Valentine's Day?"
Protester: "No, virtual dating. They are dating people who
live hundreds of miles away, spending money on Internet
access and telephone calls. Americans spend more money on
love than we spend on food. How much did you yourself spend
on cards and flowers last year?"
Tourist: "Only $200 on my wife -- and $800 on my girlfriend.
But I don't mind buying cards and flowers. I'm willing to
send them cards and flowers every day -- as long as they
don't ask for jewelry. Do you know how much gold and
Protester: "Too much. I have a wife, too, you know. But it's
not just a question of money. Look what's happening in
Calcutta. Young couples want to create a love zone where
they can talk and kiss in public, without having to worry
about police harassment. That is such a western concept."
Tourist: "Talking and kissing in public?"
Protester: "No, not having to worry about police harassment.
If our police didn't harass people, how else would they earn
Tourist: "That's a good point. So how do you show your love
to your wife? Do you tell her you love her?"
Protester: "Oh, you misguided American. Of course I tell my
wife I love her. I told her as recently as 1978. Just ask
her. I don't have to tell her every day, because she has a
good memory. I married a very smart woman. But as you know,
there are many ways to express love. My wife and I show love
through our actions. For example, I show my love by not
disturbing her when she's cooking. I don't even put my nose
in the kitchen. And she shows her love by giving me plenty
Tourist: "V.D.? Virtual dating?"
Protester: "No, vegetarian dishes. What's wrong with you? I
thought you Americans were good at abbreviations."
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