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Nshima & Curry

Melvin's  Blog

Nshima & Curry

A GOOD MEMORY CAN SOLVE OUR PROBLEMS

My wife, Malathi, has lost her favorite pair of earrings.
She doesn't remember where she left them. She asked me if
I've seen them anywhere. I don't remember.

Memory seems to be a growing problem in our household.
Malathi has trouble remembering a number of things,
including where she left her keys, whether she paid her
credit card bill, when she visited her dentist last, why she
married me.

I have trouble remembering things too, including
appointments, anniversaries, and birthdays. Someone recently
asked me when the anniversary of 9/11 was, and I couldn't
remember.

My poor memory leaves me with many questions. For example:

---What did Michael Jackson look like before his plastic
surgeon started partying with Robert Downey Jr.?

---What happened to Michael Jordan of the Chicago Bulls and
why is there a slow guy on the Washington Wizards with the
same name?

---How did George W. Bush become president? Did it have
anything to do with the millennium bug?

My memory got me in big trouble last year: I couldn't
remember the exact date of my wife's birthday. She was
really upset, giving me no credit whatsoever for remembering
the exact month.

As if that isn't bad enough, I also have trouble remembering
people's names. They introduce themselves to me and two
seconds later I have no idea what to call them. "Hey you!"
doesn't seem to please anyone, not even my sister.

I wish everyone would wear name tags. Even better, perhaps
they could tattoo their names somewhere visible, such as on
their foreheads. That way, even strangers could address them
by name.

Perhaps I need to take lessons from the contestants at the
recent World Memory Championship in London, who had to
remember not just unfamiliar names and faces, but also long
numbers, quotations, and dates. The winner, Andi Bell of
Britain, is so amazing, he even recalls the names of
Jennifer Lopez's ex-boyfriends.

If everybody worked on their memory, the world would have
fewer problems. For example, the divorce rate -- growing
faster than my bald spot -- would be curtailed. A married
man who's tempted to have an affair would be able to
remember what the ring on his finger means. And he might
also remember his wedding vows.

A convicted felon wouldn't break the law again, because he'd
remember what prison was like. And I would floss my teeth
after every meal, because I'd remember what my dentist was
like.

Husbands would remember wedding anniversaries and wives
would remember not to go into labor during the Super Bowl.

Of course, having great memory has its disadvantages. When
others hurt us, we would perhaps forgive, but we couldn't
possibly forget.

At family reunions, we'd be bored too soon, after recalling
every last detail of Uncle Mike's adventure in the Amazon,
which he has recounted only 189 times. So what if he met a
tribe of tall women? Wouldn't it have been easier to go to a
WNBA game?

Great memory would also ruin our enjoyment of prime-time TV,
because half the shows are reruns. Forgetting the plot is
crucial.

My wife can watch an episode of "Law & Order" five times and
still enjoy it. She used to have a better memory, but I
can't remember when.


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