Melvin's blog

Nshima & Curry

Melvin's  Blog

Nshima & Curry

MONKEY MAN PUZZLE EASY TO SOLVE

After studying all the recent reports of a "monkey man"
terrorizing people in New Delhi and apparently changing
appearances many times, I can think of only one logical
explanation: Our world has finally been invaded by aliens.

It was bound to happen one of these days. And we have only
ourselves to blame. After all, we've been spending so much
money trying to send our astronauts to other planets. The
aliens are just returning the favor.

As we all know from watching the movies, aliens come in many
forms. Some look as harmless as a monkey, while others look
as dangerous as Veerappan.

That explains why descriptions of the "monkey man" varied
wildly. Some witnesses said it was a monkey-like creature
with metallic claws, while others said it was a cat-like
creature with tawny, glowing eyes. One said it had ``flaming
eyes and green lights on its chest.''

If that doesn't sound like an alien, I don't know what does.
It's certainly the most conclusive evidence of aliens we've
ever gathered, aside from pictures of Michael Jackson.

Instead of questioning their existence, we should be honored
that aliens picked India to visit. They obviously think
highly of our homeland. I'm sure they didn't pick it
randomly.

Alien leader: "OK, Monkey Man and Cat Man, here are your
orders. We're dropping both of you in India for three
weeks."

Monkey Man: "India? Why India? Can't we go to Hawaii, the
Bahamas, or some other island with a nice beach?"

Leader: "You idiot, this isn't a pleasure trip. We want you
to collect information on the human mind, not the human
body. We picked India because it's a land with many
different human specimens. What's more, we've also learned
that India has one of Earth's greatest thinkers. His
name is Vishwanathan Anand. Watch out for him: They say he
has amazing moves."

Cat Man: "Where in India would you like us to go?"

Leader: "The capital, of course. That way, you can find out
about their leader."

Three weeks later, the aliens eagerly returned to their
space ship:

Alien leader: "What have you found out about the humans?
Anything interesting?"

Monkey Man: "They seem to enjoy eating spicy food. We tried
it a few times, but it was so hot, we ran into the streets
screaming. The humans who saw us also ran off screaming.
They're strange creatures, those humans."

Leader: "Who is their leader?"

Cat Man: "We're not sure, but we think it's someone named
Jayalalitha. We overheard so many humans speaking in
awe of her. One of them described her as a queen."

Leader: "Is it true that humans have a God?"

Monkey Man: "Yes, they have a God. We saw people worshipping
him everywhere we went."

Leader: "Does he have a name?"

Monkey Man: "Yes, it's Hrithik. We saw thousands of pictures
of him, some adorned with garlands of flowers."

Leader: "What else do humans do, other than worshipping
Hrithik?"

Cat Man: "They watch a sport called cricket. It's a
complicated sport, with many different actions, including
bowling, batting and banning."

Leader: "You have done well, my lads. Thanks to your report,
we will one day conquer Earth. But before that, we must
organize another mission to India. We need to find out more
about that Jayalalitha. She seems to have more power than we
envisioned."

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