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Nshima & Curry

Melvin's  Blog

Nshima & Curry

DON'T FORGET YOUR PROTECTIVE ATTIRE IN INDIA

It's oppressively hot in India, but you wouldn't know it
from the way people dress. They wear saris, salwar kameezes,
kurtas or other long garments, traditional clothing that was
designed many years ago by people living in the North Pole.
Some of those people migrated to India, but despite the
stifling heat, decided not to change their clothing and
expose more of their skin. They were concerned about
morality, of course, but not as much as they were concerned
about mosquitoes.

India isn't full of mosquitoes, but it has more than its
fair share. That's why government officials, noticing the
scarcity of mosquitoes in some countries, have wisely formed
the Indian Mosquito Export Agency. If you live in a country
that isn't blessed with mosquitoes, you can finally do
something about it! Act now while supplies are high and
prices are low!

There are many reasons to import mosquitoes. You can conduct
research on them. You can keep them as pets. You can give
them to friends at Christmas. Just remember this: Unlike
cats, mosquitoes will not ignore you. You'll enjoy their
company day and night.

Your investment is guaranteed to increase exponentially.
Yes, buy six mosquitoes today and you'll have 200 in a few
weeks. You can start your own mosquito supply company.

Don't worry about depleting India's mosquito resources.
Thanks to good planning by the government, India has built a
large reserve of mosquitoes, enough to keep the world
well-supplied for years.

The country has so many mosquitoes that anyone who goes days
without being bitten will eventually have this uneasy
thought: "What's wrong with my blood? Even the mosquitoes
don't want it. Perhaps I should get it tested."

If you're a musician performing in India, don't assume that
the audience is clapping for you. They're probably swatting
mosquitoes. In fact, many Indian classical dances have
incorporated mosquito swatting into their movements. That
gentle touch of the belly may seem subtle, but not to a
mosquito.

Indians have learned to protect themselves from mosquitoes.
Some sleep under mosquito nets, others cover their bodies
with ointment, and a few try to repulse mosquitoes by not
taking baths.

Perhaps the best protection is the Secured Attire for
Resisting Insects (SARI). Mosquitoes aren't fond of saris,
because each sari consists of yards of material that go
around a woman's body. How many yards? Enough to wrap a
dozen Egyptian mummies. In fact, the first "mummy" was an
Indian mummy who was laid to rest in her sari.

The sari would be completely impenetrable if women weren't
inclined to compromise function with style and allow a
section of their stomachs to be visible. This is the section
that attracts not just hordes of mosquitoes but also hordes
of men.

A salwar kameez solves this problem quite nicely. For many
women, it's the next best thing to wearing a suit of armor.
They're well-protected from top to bottom, with plenty of
overlap between the upper dress and lower pajama. The
message to men and mosquitoes is clear: "Don't even think
about it."

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