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Nshima & Curry

Melvin's  Blog

Nshima & Curry

REVIVAL OF AN ENDANGERED SPECIES

Welcome to another episode of National Geographic World
Explorer. Today we take you to the mountainous region of
northern Pakistan, not far from the Afghanistan border,
where you will get a rare close-up view of an elusive, hairy
creature that, scientists believe, is none other than Osama
bin Laden. He and his kind were once considered an
endangered species, but their population is now growing so
rapidly, people in India are starting to get envious. Some
have even accused Osama of spying on India and stealing
its population control programs.

To find out the truth, our fearless reporter traveled to the
North West Frontier Province of Pakistan and tracked down
Osama, who has managed to hide his identity and evade
capture by wearing a T-shirt that says, "I LOVE BUSH." He
had just finished dinner and was in good spirits, agreeing
to a short interview.

Reporter: "I'd never have expected you to wear such a
T-shirt. Do you really love Bush?"

Osama: "Yes, indeed. Bush is good place to hide. Hahaha! I
tell good joke, no?"

Reporter: "Yes, but let's get to serious matters. It has
been three years since you and your men committed that
terrible act, killing three thousand innocent people in
America. Do you have any regrets? Do you feel any sympathy
for the survivors or are you totally incapable of that?"

Osama: "Why you ask me these questions? Why you not ask
Saddam? He is the one who planned 9/11. That is why Amreeka
attacked Iraq, no?"

Reporter: "Come on, Mr. Laden. The whole world knows you did
it. Why don't you just admit it?"

Osama: "Saddam is going to die anyway. With God's blessing,
he will die for 9/11, too. Hahaha! It is too funny, how he
is getting mixed up with me. One of my men heard two
Amreekans talking. The first Amreekan said, 'Our country is
much safer since we captured Saddam bin Laden.' And the
second Amreekan said, 'You idiot! It's not Saddam bin Laden.
It's Osama bin Hussein!' Hahaha! I tell you, I was so happy
when the Amreekans captured Saddam, especially when I saw
his beard."

Reporter: "But Saddam had connections to al-Qaeda, right?"

Osama: "Well, you will never see a picture of Saddam shaking
hands with me or my men, but I can show you a picture of
Saddam shaking hands with Donald Rumsfeld. They have even
shared a hot tub, no? Hahaha!"

Reporter: "Over the last year, the number of people in
al-Qaeda has grown tremendously, according to the Terrorist
Census Bureau. Have you increased your recruitment efforts?"

Osama: "No, we are actually closing our recruitment centers,
including the ones in Saudi Arabia. Because of Iraq war, we
are getting so many applications to join al-Qaeda, we are
having trouble completing all the background checks.
Hahaha!"

Reporter: "So you are not stealing population secrets from
India?"

Osama: "No, not at all. But we are thinking of outsourcing
some of the background checks to India. Hahaha!"

Reporter: "Final question, Mr. Laden. I've heard that you
are celibate these days to show your men that even their
leader is willing to make sacrifices for the cause. Is that
true?"

Osama: "Celibate? Yes, indeed. Whenever I see beautiful
woman, I say to my men, 'Bring her to my room, so I can
celibate!' I always have big celibation. Hahaha! It is good
joke, no?"

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