Melvin's blog

Nshima & Curry

Melvin's  Blog

Nshima & Curry

ASIAN COUNTRIES LOVE PATIENT TOURISTS

Outsourcing is a hot concept these days, with companies and
individuals trying to cut costs by sending work abroad. So
many services are being outsourced, from telemarketing to
website design to Internet scamming.

But silly me, I really thought there was a limit to what
could be outsourced. Apparently not. Some students in
America, for example, are being tutored by math and science
teachers in India. Yes, you can now sit in front of a
computer and have the very knowledgeable Mr. Balasubramaniam
explain to you, in simple language, how to send money to
India.

He will also teach you skills you may need in college, such
as how to add and subtract without using your fingers and
toes. And the best part is, if you don't complete his
assignments, he can't send his ruler through the Internet to
smack your hand. Corporal punishment doesn't work too well
online.

The idea of a teacher and student being on different
continents is nothing short of amazing. And it can offer
lots of "new" benefits. Imagine a New Guinean woman getting
a degree from a New York university with help from a New
Delhi tutor. Soon she'd have a new job, a new car and many
new friends.

If having a teacher abroad seems terrific to you, what about
having a doctor abroad? Yes, even healthcare is being
outsourced these days.

Patient in America: "Dr. Pham, can you see me? I'm not sure
if this web camera is working properly."

Doctor in Thailand: "Yes, Mrs. Jones, I can see you. You
have a very nice tan."

Patient: "Oops, I must be pointing the camera at Fifi. She's
my Golden Retriever."

Doctor: "A very pretty dog indeed. And she's wearing a very
nice dress."

Patient: "Oh, I think you're looking at me now. Anyway,
Doctor, since you're a very busy man, let me get to my
problem. For the last week or so, my butt has been hurting
like the dickens. Here, let me point the camera at it."

Doctor: "Oh my. That looks really bad. How long have you had
those spots?"

Patient: "Spots? Oh, you must be looking at my polka dot
panty. You had me worried for a moment."

Thankfully, doctors aren't trying to examine patients
through the Internet -- at least not yet. But something just
as phenomenal is happening: many westerners are flying as
far as Thailand and India for treatment -- and it doesn't
involve inhaling something. Even with the cost of a plane
ticket, they're saving a bundle, while being treated at
state-of-the-art hospitals designed to attract foreign
patients, hospitals with whirlpools.

Patient: "Dr. Pham, are you sure I can go home now? Don't
you want to examine me for the next few weeks or so?"

Doctor: "I just examined you for the 88th time, Mrs. Jones,
and everything looks spotless."

Some enterprising folks are combining tourism with cosmetic
surgery. They stay at a plush resort while recovering from
surgery, getting their spirits lifted along with their
faces.

One British woman even traveled abroad to give birth. "When
I gave birth in London, I had to leave the hospital the very
same day," she said. "Here in India, because of the low
costs, I can stay until my baby goes off to college."

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