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Nshima & Curry

Melvin's  Blog

Nshima & Curry

CELEBRITY PARENTS NEED SOME TIPS

First Michael Jackson dangles his toddler over a hotel
balcony, then Australia's famous crocodile hunter Steve
Irwin holds his baby in one hand while feeding a 13-foot
crocodile with the other, and just when you think celebrity
parenting will never shock you again, you hear the news that
actress Demi Moore is somehow making do with only two
nannies! (One for her children, the other for her young
boyfriend.)

Before you denounce Jackson and Irwin, before you try to
strip them of their parenting rights, you need to realize
that their goals are no different from other parents' -- to
bring a little excitement to their children's lives.

We can't expect celebrities to be experts at parenting,
especially when the rules of parenting are so unclear. Even
after spending several hours thumbing through the classic
parenting book "Dr. Spock's Baby and Childcare," I was left
with a few nagging questions: On which page does Dr. Spock
state that a baby should not be dangled over a balcony? And
exactly where does Dr. Spock explain that a baby should be
kept away from a crocodile?

Dr. Spock, in case you're wondering, was a world renowned
parenting expert who wrote a number of books, gave numerous
lectures, and still had time to appear on "Star Trek."

As brilliant as he was, Dr. Spock didn't anticipate the type
of situations modern parents would find themselves in. If he
had, he would have surely written two more parenting books:
"Dr. Spock's Guide to Keeping Dangerous Animals Away From
Your Children" and the guaranteed international bestseller
"Dr. Spock's Guide to Keeping Michael Jackson Away From Your
Children."

All parents make mistakes -- I've already made a few myself,
such as introducing my daughter to Barney the dinosaur and
then finding myself wishing, even praying, that ALL
dinosaurs were extinct. But my mistakes are usually not
widely publicized, though they have a strange tendency to
travel all the way to Chennai, India, home of my in-laws.

If you're a celebrity, you're constantly in the limelight
and your mistakes are magnified. One misstep and your face
is plastered all over the supermarket tabloids, your
relatives are discussing your personal life on national TV,
and so many reporters are following you around that some
people think you're dating Britney.

Celebrities need a special book such as "Dr. Spock's Rules
for Public Parenting," which would give them tips like
these:

---Do not dangle a baby over a balcony, even if you've
proven, in your concerts and music videos, that you're
rather good at grabbing things that dangle.

---Do not hold a baby while feeding a crocodile, especially
if the size of the crocodile's mouth is fifty times the size
of your brain. You don't want to spend the rest of your life
apologizing to your son: "Sorry, mate, I didn't think a big
creature like that could move so fast. Good thing it took
just two bites: you lost your foot and I lost the ability to
have more children. Well, at least I've found myself a new
calling: singing soprano in the church choir."

---Do not get so carried away with your latest project --
whether it's a movie, TV show or crocodile stunt -- that you
forget your greatest project: raising a child. You may have
done a lot of superb acting in your career, but have you
ever considered acting like a parent?

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