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Melvin's blog
Nshima & Curry
Melvin's Blog
Nshima & Curry
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OIL'S WELL IN THE SAUDI KINGDOM
Leave Saudi Arabia alone. They're our friends. They've got
lots of oil. We've got lots of cars. Without them, we'd have
to do something we haven't done in ages: walk. Walk to work,
walk to the mall, walk to McDonald's to use the walk-through
window. Repeat after me: "God bless Saudi Arabia! Long live
the monarchy!"
Leave Saudi Arabia alone. They're our friends. They're
trying to keep the price of oil down, trying not to get so
filthy rich that their servants start hiring servants. Who
knows, they may even tinker with the oil price to help
President Bush get re-elected.
Saudi prince: "Mr. Bush, we oilmen need to stick together.
May you have four more years!"
Bush: "Thank you, your highness. And may you have four more
wives!"
Prince: "Ha ha! That's funny, Mr. Bush. By the way, what are
your daughters doing these days?"
Bush: "Ahem. They're ... uh ... in the Peace Corps. Serving
in Lesotho."
Leave Saudi Arabia alone. They're our friends. They may not
be a democracy, but they're at least trying to spread the
wealth around to every member of the royal family. They have
more than 5,000 princes, some of whom, sadly, do not have
their own palaces. So next time you feel like complaining
about high gas prices, think about those poor princes who
have to share a palace.
Leave Saudi Arabia alone. They're our friends. They may cut
off the heads of suspected rapists, murderers and drug
dealers without a fair trial, but at least they never cut
off our oil supply. They execute four times as many people
as the state of Texas, but they're certainly not the only
country trying to impress our president.
Leave Saudi Arabia alone. They're our friends. Fifteen of
the Sept. 11 hijackers were Saudi natives, but that was
before Saudi police realized that the Osama Center for
American Hits was not teaching people about pop music.
They've made a commitment to fight terrorism, whenever
they're not fighting liberalism.
Leave Saudi Arabia alone. They're our friends. They allow us
to open military bases on their soil -- and they never call
us infidels in public. Sure, they sponsor religious
extremists, but how else do they get their citizens to
abandon sinful living? They're really concerned about human
wrongs -- that's why they have little time for human rights.
Leave Saudi Arabia alone. They're our friends. They may not
have freedom of press, but at least they have freedom
oppressed. They may not treat their women well, but at least
they treat their camels well. Women aren't allowed to drive
or travel alone, but most of them do have good jobs, right
in front of the stove.
Leave Saudi Arabia alone. They're our friends. They're
trying hard to reform themselves. Take our word for it:
They'll eventually be a democracy. Just give them a few
hundred years.
Saudi prince: "Mr. Bush, since we're such close friends, I
want to share something with you: I'm hoping to have an
election."
Bush: "Really? That's great news. When are you having this
election?"
Prince: "As soon as my doctor gives me the Viagla."
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