Melvin's blog

Nshima & Curry

Melvin's  Blog

Nshima & Curry

SAVING OURSELVES FROM FINANCIAL DISASTER

A telephone company is advertising a calling service to
India with rates of 28 cents per minute for the first 10
minutes and 20 cents for each additional minute. That sounds
reasonable, but I wasn't sold until I saw the company's
slogan: "The more you talk, the more you save!"

I've never called my relatives in India, but the slogan
convinced me to get on the phone and talk for several hours.
That's how desperate I am to save money.

"Hello Rahul," I said. "It's me, Melvin, your cousin. What?
Your name isn't Rahul? Rahul passed away in 1977? That's too
bad. Listen, do you mind chatting with me for a few hours?
I'm trying to save money. If I end up saving a lot, I'll
even send you some. I promise."

If you want to save money but don't know anyone in India,
just contact me and I'll send you some names and numbers,
probably of people still alive. I can even send you a list
of topics Indians like to talk about, topics such as
cricket, politics and Amitabh Bachchan. He's a huge film
star in India, so you might want to mention that you're a
big fan of his and have seen all 32,456 of his movies.
Remember: The more you talk, the more you save.

Saving money isn't easy these days, what with all the
expenses we face. Not only do we pay the government, we also
have to pay a number of companies, including the electric
company, the telephone company, and the beer company. Then
we have to spend money on various fees: registration fee,
parking fee, coffee. And don't forget all the charges,
including service charge, finance charge, and felony charge.
By the time everyone's been paid, cops and all, our
paychecks have disappeared faster than a pizza on George
Foreman's plate.

It doesn't help, of course, that we're always buying things,
never satisfied with what we have. We've got a car, but we
want a larger car, a faster car, a smarter car. We've got a
TV, but we want a wider TV, a flatter TV, a plasma TV. We've
got a chest, but we want a bigger chest, an attractive
chest, a maple wood chest.

While we're shopping, we convince ourselves that we're being
savvy.

Husband: "Why are you buying a punch bowl? Don't we have one
already?"

Wife: "It's on sale, dear. Give me some credit: I'm trying
to save us money."

Husband: "But why do we need a second punch bowl?"

Wife: "In case the first one breaks, silly. It's like
insurance, but without the premiums. Pretty smart, huh? Say,
maybe I should buy one for my mom, too."

Forget about saving money -- most of us would do well just
to break even. Instead we fall into debt, swiping credit
cards as often as a professional thief. But even that makes
sense to us, because some of these cards give us CASH BACK.
Yes, the more we spend, the more we save.

It amazes me that my widowed mother, working as a
schoolteacher in Zambia and South Africa, managed to save
enough to educate her children in America. How did she do
it? By driving the same old car, watching the same old TV,
drinking the same old water.

Yes, my mother did something that's rather strange to many
people: She lived within her means.

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