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Melvin's blog
Nshima & Curry
Melvin's Blog
Nshima & Curry
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MEN CAN'T WIN CONTESTS WITH WOMEN
I've never been a big boxing fan, but
Saturday night's battle of the sexes in
Seattle caught my attention. It's not every
day you get to see a man and woman
duking it out. Most have the common
decency to limit such behavior to their
homes.
Of course, fights at home are almost
always unfair and terrible. Unlike
professional boxing, there are no rules or
referees to make sure the fighters don't do
something utterly crazy, like biting off an
opponent's ear. And there are no
promoters to make sure the fights are fixed.
The Seattle bout, pitting Margaret
McGregor against Loi Chow, was the first
time a woman had fought a man
professionally and certainly required a lot
of courage. Indeed, few people in the world
are as brave as this man.
For a mere $1,500, Chow was willing to
put his entire manhood on the line. And
thanks to his courage, he now has the
distinction of being the first male boxer --
perhaps in the history of the world -- to have
his butt thoroughly whipped by a woman.
Poor guy didn't know what hit him. He spent
much of the fight protecting himself from
McGregor's relentless pounding. I don't
know what he was thinking, but it was
probably something like this: "Mommy!
She's killing me!"
He may have to spend the rest of his life
with a new nickname: "Puppy," as in Loi
"Puppy" Chow.
He should have known that challenging a
woman is a big risk. If you win, people say,
"Big deal! She's a woman." If you lose,
people say, "Big wimp! She's a woman."
I know this from experience. Two years
ago, a female co-worker challenged me to
an American Gladiators-style jousting
match, in which the opponents try to knock
each other off a pedestal. I was crazy
enough to accept the challenge. I had
everything to lose and nothing to gain,
besides a massive headache.
But I was eager to finally knock a woman
off her pedestal. Maybe she would think
twice about challenging a man again.
I knocked her off twice and jumped into the
lead. But she knocked me off thrice and
won. I had no excuses. She wasn't bigger
than me and, as far as I could tell, she
wasn't on steroids.
I felt like I had disappointed the entire male
population. Let's face it, men have always
felt superior to women. But women are
gradually proving them wrong, succeeding
in many fields. However, men still feel
superior in one field: sports. And as a
proud man, I have just one thing to say to
all you women who believe you're going to
eventually take that away from us: "Please
don't do it! It's the only thing we have left!"
I'm not kidding. I've watched female
athletes and many of them scare me. Take
Fatuma Roba of Ethiopia, the reigning
Olympic champion in the marathon. If I
joined one of her races at the 25-mile mark
and challenged her for the final mile, the
only way I'd keep up with her is with a
telescope.
Believe me, female athletes are eager to
prove they can beat men. Serena Williams,
the U.S. Open tennis champion, tried to
enter a men's tournament in Germany, but
fortunately for all those men, she was
denied. Serena can hit a ball harder than
John McEnroe. And she can throw a racket
farther than him, too.
I wouldn't challenge Serena in any sport.
I've seen her muscles. Call me a wimp. Just
don't call me stupid.
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