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Nshima & Curry

Melvin's  Blog

Nshima & Curry

BEAUTY IS IN THE MIND OF THE SPELLER

If you take pride in the achievements of Indians, you need
to follow two types of contests: beauty pageants and
spelling bees. It won't be as exciting as watching the
Indian cricket team, but at least you won't end up pulling
out all your hair. Just ask L.K. Advani.

For some reason, Indians -- or people of Indian origin --
have in recent years flourished in the Miss Universe and
Miss World pageants, as well as the National Spelling Bee.

This year is no exception. Miss India Neha Dhupia and Miss
Canada Neelam Verma were finalists at Miss. Universe 2002 in
Puerto Rico, while Pratyush Buddiga of Colorado Springs,
Colorado, won the 75th Scripps Howard National Spelling Bee
in Washington, D.C.

What's intriguing about this trend, of course, is that
beauty queens and spelling champions have little in common.
I'd love to watch Neha trying to spell words such as
"tergiversation" and "prospicience," which 13-year-old
Pratyush aced.

Judge: "The word is tergiversation."

Neha: "Oh, that's so easy. T-E-L-E-V-I-S-I-O-N. We have one
at home."

Similarly, Pratyush, despite his interest in swimming, would
probably earn low scores -- even from his parents --
parading around in a bikini. Of course, he'd have no trouble
answering the final question at this year's Miss. Universe:
"What makes you blush?"

"Wearing a bikini in front of millions of strangers makes me
blush," he'd say. "So does wearing an evening gown. So does
Donald Trump's constant flirting. So does this inane
question."

Neither beauty pageants nor spelling bees attract huge TV
audiences, but that could change if organizers find a way to
combine them.

Announcer: "Welcome to the 2003 Miss Universe Spelling Bee.
Our first beautiful speller, representing India and wearing
a stunning silk bikini, is Arundhati Roy. The famous author
beat out 100 rivals in India by correctly spelling
'Narmada,' 'globalization,' and 'Booker Prize.' Amazing!
Beauty and brains in a tiny bikini!"

Beauty pageants are often criticized for objectifying women,
whereas spelling bees are lauded for encouraging children to
develop their brains -- particularly the part of their
brains that remembers words that nobody uses.

But at least beauty queens can exchange their tiaras for
acting or modeling careers. It's hard to make a career out
of spelling. Even President Bush, despite the obvious need,
is reluctant to hire a spelling assistant. Pratyush would be
perfect for the job.

Bush: "I'm writing a note to the president of Pakistan. How
do you spell his name again? It begins with an 'm,' right?"

Pratyush: "Yes, Mr. President. It's spelled M-O-B-S-T-E-R."

Bush: "Wow! That's easier than I thought. Thanks, Prat...
How do you pronounce your name again?"

Pratyush won $12,000 in the National Spelling Bee, money
that will allow him to pay tuition at a top college, at
least for a week or two.

If spelling bees keep growing in popularity, the prize money
will probably double or triple -- and we may see our first
professional speller. Don't be surprised if he or she is an
Indian.

Indians have an edge over other spellers, because, at a very
young age, they face a major challenge: learning to spell
their own last names.

Once you've spelled a name like Balasubramaniam, all words
are easy.

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