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Nshima & Curry

 

 

Melvin's  Blog

Nshima & Curry

 

 

YARD SALES KEEP THE ECONOMY GOING

The president and others are trying to take
credit for the healthy economy, knowing full
well that the economy wouldn't be this strong
if it weren't for yard sales.

Yard sales help to circulate money and
dusty junk.

Many people can't drive past a yard sale
sign without stopping. The sign might as
well say, "Free ice cream."

They're eager to see if they can find the
perfect item for their home among someone
else's junk. Some park their cars at the side
of the road; others window shop while
driving past. This is the only time they obey
the speed limit.

But who can blame them? You never know
what you might find at a yard sale: a
microwave, a color television, a used toilet
seat.

One summer, my sister wanted to sell a
used toilet seat at her yard sale. I thought
her children had finally driven her nuts.

It was one of those padded seats, the kind
that you sink into, the kind that puts your
legs to sleep. I don't know why someone
would buy a new one, let alone a used one.
But someone actually bought it. They
snapped it right up. Didn't even ask us who
sat on it.

I'd want to know.

But then, I'd want to know a lot of things
about yard-sale items. Before people can
sell their stuff, they ought to file a disclosure
statement that answers these questions: In
which century did you buy it? Was it ever
used by the dog? How many people wore it,
sat on it or ate from it?

If it's a seventh-hand blanket, I don't want it.
Call me picky; just don't call me icky.

Yard sales are an easy way to sell stuff. No
huge advertising bill. No zoning restrictions.
No tax ... ing work.

Some people are always selling stuff.
They're professional yard-sellers. They
make enough money on weekends to take
the rest of the week off.

These are the people who are selling all
kinds of fitness equipment, but look like
they've never had a minute of exercise in
their lives. Aside from dragging their junk
from the garage.

These are the people who have a safe for
their money, just in case some desperate
robber decides to hold up a yard sale.

These are the people who never run out of
merchandise, because they keep stocking
their garage with stuff from other yard sales.

The most popular type of yard sale is the
MULTI-FAMILY yard sale. The mother of all
yard sales. With the father's stuff being sold.

A MULTI-FAMILY yard sale is the only time
some neighbors talk to each other. They
finally have something in common: a lot of
junk.

Whether big or small, yard sales give
people a taste of what it's like to start a
business and be a boss. At a typical yard
sale, the wife and husband fill the respective
roles of boss and stock boy.

The husband is the stock boy because he's
more familiar with the stock: items he
bought years ago and was hoping to leave
in his will. But the boss has decided that
neither she nor any of his other relatives
would want to be stuck with a collection of
old Playboys.

And his assortment of rusty wrenches are
no better than those busty wenches. Same
for his dog-eared novels and dog-chewed
slippers.

But such items may be scooped up in an
instant at a yard sale. Especially if the buyer
has been out in the sun too long.

Yes, it pays to have yard sales in the
summer.

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